playlist for success.

Girls always come up to me in that 'come hither' kind of way and ask me, "How do you write the way you do? It makes me not wanna stop 'til I squirt." Of course they would ask that. Well ladies, I can't exactly tell you my secret, but I can say say this- if it's a jean skirt or butt naked, it all works. Or sometimes, I tell them, "if you would just get off my jock for one second and pick up a book for once in your life, you could see that it's all practice, baby."

Sometimes though, it's just not that simple. Picking up the latest issue of Family Circus and practicing your ABCs doesn't automatically make you a literary genius like me. It takes that little extra inspiration that practice can't give you. And by inspiration of course, I mean the music that I listen to when I write. You bands out there better be thanking me after I name drop, because maybe then some of the many boobs that I get thrown into my face might spill off and land in your lap. Don't count your chickens though! HONK.

Here's the playlist as of 4/18/2011:

The Radio Dept. - I Don't Need Love, I've Got My Band

The Radio Dept. - Pull Our Weight

The Radio Dept. - Someone Else

The Radio Dept. - The City Limit

Yuck - Georgia

Frankie Rose and The Outs - Girlfriend Island

Best Coast - Sun Was High (So Was I)

Vivian Girls - When I'm Gone

Vivian Girls - Moped Girls

Vivian Girls - I Heard You Say

Vivian Girls - Dance (If You Wanna)

Vivian Girls - Take It As It Comes

Panda People - Sophisticated Girl

Panda People - Nothing Is Missing

Yes Giantess - Can't Help it

Jordan Knight - Give It To You

Aaliyah - Rock The Boat

Visitor - Los Feeling (StardonE Remix)

Smashing Pumpkins - 1979 (StardonE Remix)

Smashing Pumpkins - Real Love

Amy Meredith - Young At Heart (Visitor Remix)

Young Digerati - The Dauphin (Ride The Universe Remix)

Mitch Murder - Alright feat. Kristine

Day After Discovery - Sky High

Mylène Farmer - Sans Contrefaçon

Drake - The Winner

Street Fighter Alpha 2 - Ken's Theme

Squarepusher - Andrei

Visioneers - The World Is Yours

SWV - I'm So Into You

SWV - Right Here (Human Nature Remix)

Futurecop! - Karate Kids

Dan Deacon - Big Milk

The Decemberists - Here I Dreamt I was an Architect

Dry & Heavy - Love Explosion

Embryo - Istanbul Suite

Akron/Family - We All Will

Air - Cherry Blossom Girl

Fiero - Newness

Fiero - UR My Girl (Edit)

Fiero - Tonight

Fiero - Monotone From Shade to Light Mixtape

Christopher Cross - Alright (Fiero Catalina Remix)

Ago - For You

Starpoint - Object of My Desire

Fabian - Heatwave

Strip Steve - Breakin (Lorenz Rhode Remix)

Shalamar - There It Is

Shalamar - For The Lover In You

DJ Chachi - Fashion Indie Vol. 1

DJ Dstrukt - Assorted Flavors

Cosmic Kids on Disco, For Your Health 1/8/2010

That's all, folks! Check back for more sweet beats.

he was a she.

The man walked into the barbershop furious. His hairs stood up in all directions. Things were starting to become quite tense. What was he upset about? Was he not satisfied with his haircut? That was quite absurd. Many thought his new haircut was handsome. It was clean, crisp, and symmetrical. He looked like a million dollars. The new cut accented his style. His overall look seemed to suit him. Why was he upset? The barbers tried to calm him. Yet, he could not settle down. The situation went from tense to perplexing. No one could understand his complaints. Then they realized what his complaints were. He was a she.

don't fool daddy

I couldn't sleep.

I just had to know.

Was it my actions that made him weep?

The shuffling downstairs,

the tearful woes-

I'm pretty sure it was me, to be fair.

Then to my delight,

I heard him exclaim,

"My feet are swollen! This just isn't right!"

Little did poor daddy know,

his shoes were switched.

His feet did not grow.