a haiku about alex guarnaschelli.

Why don't you smile?

You are not Simon Cowell.

You need to be chopped.

dingus for dummies. (a mixtape by ham salad)

This week's mixtape is for that starry-eyed dreamer. The person that looks up in the sky and sheds a tear at the sight of nature's splendor. You see a food pyramid that is terribly misinformed, he sees the recipe for success. As the practice keeps coming, the mixtapes keep getting better. Of course, slightly rough at some transitions, I assure you, you'll still be dancing. Laughs, courtesy of "Check It Out!" Thank you, Dr. Stevie Brule.

dingus for dummies.

RAH Band - Messages From The Stars
Yes Giantess - Can't Help It
Patrice Rushen - Forget Me Nots
Cherokee - Mambo Jet
Starsmith - Champion
Joy - I Need Your Love
Cassian - I Like What You're Doing (Nightriders Remix)
Fear Of Tigers - The Adventures of Pippi Longstump (Digitalfoxglove Remix)

P.S. This is still a literary blog. Poems and short stories coming soon.

dripping with seaman feat. Leonard Nimoy (a mixtape by ham salad)

Inspired by the musings of a fish with a Japanese man's face, this week's mixtape will make you cock your head to the side, tap your chin with your index finger, and ponder about this thing we call life. If not that, then it'll make you dance. With tracks from artists like Wallpaper, GonZo, New Edition, and my personal favorite, Ride The Universe, this mix is stacked to the teeth with hits. Like I said, all I needed was practice because the transitions, the mixing, all of the above, in this guy have definitely improved. Friends and lovers, I hope you enjoy.

Dripping with Seaman

Seaman Introduction by Leonard Nimoy
Auxiliary The Masterfader - Discobitch (Shook Remix)
Wallpaper - Getting Drip
Gonzo - Waves High
Seaman Musings (the internet)
Yarbrough & Peoples - Guilty
Cherokee - Take Care of You
Seaman Musings (self-esteem)
Starpoint - Object of My Desire
DJ Las K - Tiramisu
Thrill Kill - Dress in Stereo (Ride The Universe Remix)
New Edition - Count Me Out
Seaman Musings (Mating Ritual)
Com Truise - VHS Sex
Seaman Climax

back II bayside (a mixtape by ham salad)

Friends and lovers, consider this not only an homage to one of the greatest television shows of all time, but a musical experience for the ears. It's something I've wanted to do for quite some time now. Of course, this is just my first attempt at creating a mixtape, so the mixes (not really mixes at all) are rough around the edges. If anything, this is more of a continuous playlist. With practice and more installments, I assure that my mixing will get better and perhaps, we'll get something a little more serious. For now, enjoy.

Back II Bayside

CHYNA - Mismatched Couples Opening

I Blame Coco - Quicker (Shook Remix)

Fabian - Heatwave

Kylie Minogue - Love at First Sight (Ruff & Jam US Radio Mix)
Jessie Spano pill popping interlude

Toro Y Moi - All Alone

Fabian - Draco

Com Truise - Ether Drift

Slow Magic - Sorry Safari

quick conversations

"Excuse me? This is an A-B conversation."

"So does that mean I need to see my way out?"

"No, we're having a difficult time figuring out the variables, A and B."

"Looks like some wasn't paying attention in Algebra 1... JERK!"

"Rocket Scientists" not impressed with Shania Twain

18 January 1999 – Engineers from NASA, Boeing as well as professors from Stanford University, University of Maryland, University of Toronto, and other schools have boycotted the music of country pop singer, Shania Twain. With the release of her single, “That Don’t Impress Me Much,” off of her latest album, “Come on Over,” several students, professors, and engineers within the aerospace field have expressed great concern over the messages she conveys through her music.

“It’s hard work,” Bryan Font, a student at Stanford University, said. “I’m not saying everyone needs to be impressed, but at least give credit where credit’s due.” Font also went on to state that with all the student loans that he has taken to pay for his education, seeing the growing distaste for his field only adds insult to injury.  “We live in a day and age where pop singers are taken more seriously than the people behind aircrafts and space exploration,” said Dr. Felicia Cartwheel, a professor at University of Toronto. “Very unfortunate.”

While figures within the aerospace field have politely expressed their dissatisfaction with Shania’s message, others have taken to a more aggressive approach, including former US space explorer and engineer, Neil Armstrong. “First off, Shania,” said Armstrong. “It’s called aerospace engineering, not rocket science. Science is the study of nature, dum-dum!” He later stated that “exploring the moon and developing aircrafts were damn impressive,” and that “[engineers] were in fact, something special.”

Twain could not be reached for a full interview, however, she did comment on the matter. When asked how she felt about the aerospace community’s boycott, she replied, “Man! I feel like a woman.”

a haiku about rihanna

Someone please help her.

She-Hulk is in full effect.

Don't make her angry.